A Rollercoaster Weekend aka The Writers' Blues

So after getting my packet back from Pete on Thursday, I had a lot of ups and downs. Actually more downs than ups. I was pretty upset when I first got Pete's letter because what I thought he was asking me to do was something I was vehemently opposed to doing. I read it as saying, "Stop using all that language. Just write like a normal, modern day person would talk." Well, to me, this takes all the joy out of writing. I mean, what would be the point of writing the way that most people talk when I go out of my way to actually use more meaningful words even in everyday conversations? Where would I ever get to use language that I love if not in writing? So that was really depressing. It was like, WHY EVEN BOTHER WRITING? (I wish I had an interrabang symbol on my keyboard--look in Wikipedia).

But then Marc spent about an hour talking to me about it and calming me down. (Thanks, Marc.) And then I felt better and realized that I might have been overreacting. But as I said to Abby in an email, I still felt like going to bed and never getting up again. Except to use the bathroom. And, you know, to keep from getting bedsores.

But I did convince myself that what he was saying was about some very stilted passages in the chapter I sent him and not about all the writing I had done on the book. But, being the idiot I am, I was not content to just accept this and go on with the revisions. No. I had to send Pete an email and ask him if he felt the same way about chapter 15, which I had given him and he had read. I said I didn't want my character to come off as unsophisticated. So instead of saying anything about chapter 15, he just wrote back and said she didn't have to be unsophisticated. She just had to be herself. So I took this to mean that he did think the same thing about chapter 15. So then I was morose all weekend.

I should add that Pete's letter and everything were totally nice. He clearly was trying to be as gentle with me as possible. Thank goodness! But still, I think we might not be on the same page. But maybe we will be. I'm just going to try to make it work. I wish I could talk to him more about it instead of just getting cryptic emails that I can interpret in ten different ways.

I mean, I went back and looked at chapter 15, and I did see a couple of spots where the language was a little stilted. And I noticed that when I'm writing, I never contract my negatives. I always write did not as opposed to didn't, or wouldn't not as opposed to wouldn't. This does sound formal and stilted and I'll go back and fix those spots, but overall, I like the voice.

By yesterday afternoon, I had written and rewritten the first few paragraphs 37 times. I was ready to walk into traffic. Some writer friends were meeting at a cafe, so I joined them there for a while and they talked to me about it. It was helpful. (Thanks, Stephanie, Pat and Karen!)

One of the things I ended up doing as I tried to work through it was to write a prologue. You know, what happens before the beginning of the story. It was just a page. I read them that and they actually liked it and thought maybe it should stay with the story. So, I'll see what Pete thinks.

While I was there, I noticed this guy one table over who wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was eavesdropping on our conversation. When we got up to leave, I said something like, "Yes, I'd better go home and see if I can finish the revisions before I commit suicide." (I am such a drama queen.) As I was walking out, he got up and ran after me calling, "Miss! Miss!" I turned around (Although, seriously, Miss?) He said, "Before you off yourself, you should take Kurt Vonnegut's advice and throw up on your typewriter. You can clean it up later. It's worked for me many times." I laughed. So at least there was that. Later I realized that he probably didn't mean throw up ON your typewriter, but WITH it. I really thought at first he meant 'wretch' on your typewriter. It will make you feel better. But I think he meant, just write out everything and then revise it down later. I think the first one is easier.

And then I went home and felt like tackling it again. Maybe because I am insane. But, for some reason, it started to come together. I used one of Marc's ideas to rewrite the beginning, and maybe it's a little rough, but I think it can work. And then the rest was really not that hard. Especially because I established the voice in the prologue. I still want it to be a little more sophisticated and mysterious, but I think it's interesting. So in the hour before I went to bed, I got almost all the way through it. There's just one more paragraph that needs to be reworked or maybe cut, and then I think it will be done and I'll be on to chapter two, which I already started.

OK, done with ranting. I feel much better now.

Now I have to get to work again. I can't get the Spider Pig song out of my head. (Go see the Simpsons Movie if you are feeling depressed about your writing and have Marc take you to the Cherry Blossom for Japanese food beforehand. Marc is so funny. :) Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does...