Thursday, January 31, 2008

Nervousmess and excitement

Just a quick update on how things are going since I've been back.

Something happened to me at the residency. I didn't fully realize it until I got home and got rested, but I think all the things I had been studying over the course of the term clicked in my head. Well, probably not all of them, but some substantial new thing has happened for me. I can tell I understand a critical aspect of what makes writing good that I only vaguely had some external notion of before. It's almost like I had an epiphany, but I know it was really a synthesis of the semester's work and things I heard at the residency.

So I am more and more excited about that. Could I be a little more specific? Well, here it is. It's the difference between showing and telling. Everyone says it, but it's so vague what they say. It's like understanding quantum mechanics or something. You might know something about it, but the hows and whys of it are probably beyond you. It's kind of like that. Because really, writing is telling. It's using words to make a story. How much closer to telling can you get than that? So how can you show without telling while creating a story with words?

The best way I can find to explain the difference is to use the analogy of a photograph versus a film. When you describe something in a static way, you capture a photo. When you describe it in a dynamic way, one that uses words to do dual duty depicting things not as they are in a particular stopped moment of time, but as they are during a period of time, you capture a film with words.

I never thought about this consciously until recently. I think sometimes I might have inadvertantly done this, but it was hit or miss. Now that I am aware of it, I have a lot more control. I also realized that one of the keys is to use very precise verbs. I had been an advocate of using adverbs and I couldn't understand why adverbs had to be used sparingly or not at all. But I now understand that single words have a lot of power. If you use weak or static verbs to tellyour story and add adjectives to get the nuance of meaning across, the nuances of your story become static. If you use active, precise verbs, the nuances of your story remain active, captured in the verbs. Compare "he ran" or "he strode" to "he walked quickly".

Of course, adverbs are a part of the language, but they need to be rarely used. They are scaffolding, not solid foundations.

So that's the exciting part. The nervousness comes from not knowing if I can get everything done on time. I have only three weeks each period instead of four like last time, so I really ahve to be on point all the time. And I'm having troulbe with reading. My reading speed is really down. I'm still trying to finish my first book this semester. But I'll make up for it by reading an essay for my seoncd work.

I find that I really want to impress Molly. I don't know why I should feel that way. But then, I wanted to impress Pete also. We'll see what happens.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Lost Weekend

I've been remiss. It's just been so hard to keep everything together and so I haven't been blogging. If I've learned one thing a bout my writing and what people think of it through this residency, it's that imagination in more important than knowledge. True, it's good that I can make pretty good sentences, but what affects people ,ost about my writing is the strangeness of it.Strangeness is the word that DL used in his critique.

So I have Molly Gloss as an advisor this time. I'm pretty excited to work with her. Today she and I are going to meet and talk about making maps.

I am going to have to work harder than I did last semester because I will only have three weeks in between packets instead of four. It looks like the summer semester is about three weeks longer than the winter one.

I have been thinking about writing again, though. Its really hard to write while here because so much is going on. Also, I haven't had as much energy as I did last time and I've been taking it easy. Last night I went to bed at 8 and slept in until 6 this morning. The previous two nights I had found myself falling asleep during the faculty readings, which really is too bad. I'm still sick and will have to go back to the doctor when I get home.

This residency has given me some new tools and some new insights into my own work. I have a more concrete idea of what I need to work on while getting the story down.

Yesterday I was inspired to write a poem in listening to Marvin Bell's lecture called Poetry A-Z. I think I will use it as my review of his talk.

This is all so vague, I know.

Remember the elevator story about David Long? Well, now I like him and he doesn't think I'm a weirdo anymore. Turns out he taght in the Poets in Schools program an was actually teaching in my high school during the time I was there. He taught one of my English teachers. So that was cool to find out. Small world.

Maybe I will get my wish to work with him after all. We'll see what happens.

Can I say here that I am grateful to the universe for my weird brain? Thanks whoever is responsible for my imagination, in spite of the fact that it allows me to imagine all sorts of paranoid crap sometimes. Without it, where would I be?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thursday

Yes, my titles have become singularly uninventive. What's your point? :)

I can only write for a minute, because I need to get something ready for today. Yesterday was good. I found out some good news, bt I won't put it up here. It's just about my work being liked by certain faculty, but I don't want to broadcast it since you never know who might be reading.

My piece is going to be workshopped on Saurday or Sunday.

I had lunch with Pete. It was great. We talked about writing. What a concept. We also exchanged stories: I tol him that my mom was a fan of his. We had a whole conversation about it. I think I am going to buy his new book for my mom when it comes out. He told me it may be a while.

Everything is kind of a blur. I had better get going. I'll try to write more tomorrow. It's harder to have anecdotes here because the hallways are so much like the great white north that no one ventures out to meet up there. But I have seen Abby and Debi and Linda everyda and hung out.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Wednesday?

It's a good thinmg this residency doesnt feel as busy as the last one. I am pretty sick, and feel terrib le and ired. I have mo,ments when I feel ok, but mostly I feel slightly nauseous an achy.

I only went to four things esterday: the first craft talk, whih was Peter Sears about revisions. Then workshop, a talk by Hilda Raz, he editor of Prairie Schooner, and Marvin Bell's poetry reading at night He was with Glenn Moore (the best stand up bass player in America). It was really cool to hear Glenn play. Somehow I was not there for the poetry. I mean, I heard it, but I didnt feel it. Don't know why. Probably sickness.

I'm having lunch with Pete today.I'm looking forward to it. He's a good energy to be around.

Also on the schedule today, a craft talk by Ellen Bass. She is really great. She's talking about discovery. We are workshopping Linda's and Mindie's pieces in workshop today, cool because both of them are friends. Ten this afternoon, I may go to two graduate readings and a craft talk by Mary Helen Stefanick called The Secret of Once. Tonigt Pete Fromm and Valerie Miner are reading and Linda is introducing them.

The weather has apparently been crazy, but I have carefully avoided going outside or even looking outside or the most part. I only know by rumor and the sound of the wind howling through the wall when I'm in the bathroom in my room.

I'll be having breakfast with Abby again this morning. I really should spend some time now doing some reviews of classes so far, so I won't have so much work to do when I get home those first few days.

I don't know how, but Marc magically fixed my e. You probably won't remember, but last residency, I was sruggling with it. It works perfectly now and Marc clais never to have had a problem with it. I think he's just gifted. Actually, now that I think about the keyboard layout, maybe it was the h. But that seems to be working fine also.

Ah delirium. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

So far so good

Well, Ive been in Oregon for three days. The first day I spent at Abby's sister's house. It was great.We went to a cat sanctuary where Abby used to volunteer. I fell in love wth a cat who reminded me of Nefertum. He was very friendly. I would have triedf to convince Marc that we should adopt him if only hnly we lived closer to him. I would hate to make a cat fly for so long.

On Sunday, we met Linda who drove up from Bend. Fortunately she has a four wheel drive because we had to drive through the mountains in a snow storm. Many people were off the road, but we were like the eveready bunny.

Yesterday was te first day of classes. I co-taught a class yesterday and it went really well. MOre than twice the number of people that we had wanted signed up for it, so we had to modify it some. We didn't have time to do individual work on their own stuff, only on the stuff that w had prepared.

Food is not nearly as good as during the summer residency. Finally, last jight we went to the grocery store, so hopefully I am set.

WE all hae our own rooms and the hallways here are godforsakenly cold, unheated. This leads to some degree of isolation. I had hoped to be next door to jy summer roomates, but we're all on different floors. Abby and Linda have beautiful rooms with fireplaces, kitchenettes and ocean views. By the luck of the draw, Deb and I have normal rooms. But we've been getting together in Abby's room for meals and just to chat when we have time.

I started out this residency exausted and sick, and I am really tired nmow. Yesterday there were two clases besides ours, plus the readings at night. Workshops start today, so it's going to get busier. There was some really good writing submitted to workshop.

Pete Fromm talked about convertig a short story into a screenplay. A story of his has been made into a film, whih he wrote the screenplay for. We watched the film. It was good. (Could I be anymore profound?)

I just looked at the schedule and saw that I have myself doing nothing after lunch until 7:30. I think I'll come back and go to bed. I feel terrible But now I need to get ready to go out and have breakfast in Abby's room.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Spring 2008 residency

If you can call this spring... It's only just winter. At any rate, I'm leaving tomorrow for Portland to spend the night with Abby at her sister's house in Vancouver. She's going to pick me up at the airport and then we're going to rent a car so we can drive around Portland as we please. This will be great since I've never really been there.

Then on Sunday afternoon, we'll drop off the rental car and Linda, one of our other roommates from the summer residency, is going to pick us up on her way to Seaside. Our residency this time is on the coast instead of on campus. I think they do it this way because classes are in full swing and probably all the dorm rooms are occupied. So we get to go to a hotel on the beach.

Weather.com says it's going to be rainy there, though warmer than it is here. As long as I'm not cold, I don't mind.

I'm co-teaching a class on the first day of actual classes. I believe it's at 2:45 in the afternoon.

I'll try to blog in shorter but more regular chunks than I did in the summer. I expect it to be slower paced, because I've already decided that I'm not going to try to do as much as I did in the summer. While my roomies were sometimes sleeping in, I went to everything. I'm going to look at the schedule and decide what I will and won't go to ahead of time.

I will still get up at 5, but hopefully can get to bed a little earlier. I'd like to avoid repeating the blathering of nonsense I did on the last day of the summer residency when I was so sleep deprived I couldn't make a coherent sentence and had to set my alarm clock twenty-seven times, knowing each time that something was wrong, but unable to figure out what. In the end, my alarm didn't go off and I was late to meet my ride to the airport, babbled incoherently, and screamed at the top of my lungs because I couldn't find my suitcase which was behind my room door. Right where I put it the night before. Yes, all this is to be avoided, so this time, more sleep,a little more food, and less mayhem. No matter what John Rember says about how "you're only here for ten days--go to everything," don't listen to him. Really. Go to most things. Remember that ten days short of sleep and constantly running leads to madness. This is my current mantra.